Being Me, Loving You: A Practical Guide to Extraordinary Relationships

If “violent” means acting in ways that result in hurt or harm, then much of how we communicate - judging others, bullying, racial profiling, blaming, finger pointing, discriminating against others, speaking without listening, criticizing, name-calling, reacting when angry, using political rhetoric, being defensive or judging who’s “good/bad” or what’s “right/wrong” with people, could indeed be called 'violent communication'.

Nonviolent Communication is the integration of 4 things:

Consciousness: a set of principles that support living a life of empathy, care, courage, and authenticity

Language: understanding how words contribute to connection or distance

Communication: knowing how to ask for what we want, how to hear others even in disagreement, and how to move toward solutions that work for all

Means of influence: sharing 'power with others' rather than using 'power over others'

1: Increase our ability to live with choice, meaning, and connection
2: Connect empathically with self and others to have more satisfying relationships
3: Sharing of resources so everyone is able to benefit